Teen Purity: Girls

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Teen Purity: Girls
Text: Song of Solomon 2:7
Occasion: General
Audience: Youth, Girls
Theological Tradition: General
Topic: Sexual Purity
Author: WABuisman


Help Teenage Girls Understand God's Standard for them

How to Get There

  • Women and men are very different in how they think about sex and relationships, so let's take a look at some of the ways Guys think.
    • First of all, we are visual. We are very observant and yes, we do notice beauty. But we do notice and appreciate more subtle qualities over time.
    • Secondly, we are curious. So much of what we do is to figure out the unknown or to conquer this project or that area. Once we have an area all figured out or conquered, we move on to something else that is undiscovered. The only way we will usually stick with anything is if we make a specific commitment to it.
    • Where as women have a more sporadic sex drive, we men have a constant sex drive. We are hardly ever "off." That being said, we can wait for sex if we choose to. And by that I mean if we actually care about you and want a real relationship with you.
    • We are commitment shy because we understand and accept what you don't yet; that teenage relationships will not last.
    • And finally, we are simple, not dumb. We are straight forward and relatively un-complicated, especially compared to women.
  • Because we aren't dumb, we will figure out how you think and what you need. And if we want to, we can manipulate you for what we want.
    • Specifically, we will figure out early on in our lives that you desire relationship, companionship, and emotional intimacy. And some of us will exploit your need for our own desire for the physical.
      • You'll hear phrases like: "I wanna be with you forever, I feel like I can tell you anything, I just want us to love each other fully, I've never felt this close to anyone" and of course the strategically placed "I love you."
      • How can you tell if we are being genuine? It's simple; You can't. But you can set and stick to Godly boundaries and expectations that will weed out those of us who really don't care about you or God's standard. It's a "time will tell" scenario.
    • If a guy's undoing to living God's Standard is his desire for physical intimacy, a girls undoing is your desire for relational intimacy. Both these desires, if un-disciplined, shut down the brain, confuse the heart, weaken the will, and put all of our relationships in danger.

Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, & 8:4 all talk about the need for woman to wait for love to come to them. It's not something that can be forced or trapped or manipulated into happening. It is something that depends on God's timing.

  • By the way, you women are right. Your intuition tells you that an intimate relationship should come before physical intimacy.
    • And your physical satisfaction is directly dependent on your relational satisfaction. What that means is that if your relationship is healthy and strong, then your physical relationship will be much more enjoyable and vice-versa.

Closing: Hopefully, what you know now will help you await on the love from the great guy that God wants to give you and that each one of you deserves.

Things to Watch For

  • I highly suggest separating out the genders into different locations for this message so that you can deliver this message directly to the girls.
  • Ironically, I have had higher success when a mature male delivers it. It gives the girls a chance to hear what guys are thinking from a guy and as such they take it on a higher authority.
  • However, I would definitely make sure to include a mature female sponsor to be present during this message to assist and provide accountability given the sensitivity of the discussion.

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This Message is part 4 of Teen Purity Series message series.